Divorce, especially in the United States. is one of the most common things people experience, as roughly 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
The State is in charge of allowing people to enter into the legal contract of marriage. With a 50% FAILURE rate, one should wonder why the government should be in charge of this in the first place. People will say marriage licenses and legally binding marriage is important, because without it, people would have a harder time separating their individual and marital assets upon separation. But anyone who has actually been through a divorce knows that the process of divorce provided by government is one of the most expensive, inefficient, and stressful processes imaginable. So why does it continue? Simple. Because legal marriage creates another corporation, further embeddening you into the system, whereby you and your significant other willingly allow the most immoral instutition in existence (government) to step directly inbetween you and the person you claim to love.
Without legal marriage, one could easily argue that two parents separating under these conditions would be far easier. No lawyers, no nasty arguing matches in front of Judges, etc. Just two people, who aren’t in love anymore, having to behave like ADULTS for once and decide how to best move forward for the sake of themselves and any children they may have.
Without legal marriage and legal divorce/separation, one could also surmise that relationships may actually work out better. Would two people be as quick to rush into a marriage without having government intervene? One would have to carefully consider all aspects of life, from opening financial accounts, buying property, etc. Without the coercive power of the State, people would be left to themselves, their friends, and families. If a man or woman couldn’t easily “take half” after signing on the dotted line, would so many relatonships end in tragedy?
Besides the far reaching legal aspects and motivating factors regarding marriage, there are also the unintended consequences of them. How they affect the family, specifically children.
Consider this simple fact: there is more disposible income in a family with two parents living under one roof (one rent) vs two parents living under two separate roofs (two rents) and thus, a second entire list of expenses. From food and clothes to utilities and gas, everything suddenly becomes a multiple of 2. I’m sure you can already see how damaging this can be for the long term outlook of both parents, as well as their children.
Also consider these facts:
- Forty-three percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. In other words, nearly half of children in the U.S. have no positive male figure in their life.
- Seventy-five percent of children with divorced parents live with their mother. The State always seems to side with the mother. This simple fact likely leads to a plethora of negative unintended psychological consequences for the affected youth.
- Twenty-eight percent of children living with a divorced parent live in a household with an income below the poverty line. Again, two parents under one roof = ONE SET OF BILLS.
- Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these children, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage. If children learn by example, what sort of example are we setting?
- Teenage children of divorce are three times more likely (35% instead of 13%) to need psychological help within a given year. (Peter Hill – Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development- Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993). Divorce is MESSY and PAINFUL. A child loves both their parents but the State essentially tells the child one is better than the other.
- Studies in 1980 – 1981 uncovered that children in repeat divorces got lower results at school. The other children of their age rated them as less pleasant to be around. (Andrew J. Cherlin, -Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage– Harvard University Press 1981).
- Children of divorced parents are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than children in two parent families. (Angel, Worobey, -Single Motherhood and Children’s Health -).
- Most molestated childs come from single-parent households or are the children of drug users. (Los Angles Times 16 September 1985 The Garbage Generation).
- (Adult) children of divorce are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than children from normal homes. (Velez-Cohen, – Suicidal Behavior and Ideation in a Community Sample of Children -Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1988).
The list goes on and on.
If you’re in a relationship and are thinking of having kids, strongly consider not engaging in legal marriage. This requires an intense level of trust, love, and respect. Starting a family with another person is no game. Don’t rely on the State to fix your personal problems.